Who Do You Think You Are?

You have a story about yourself. A narrative that runs your life every single day.

You absorbed it. From your family. From the world. From watching the people around you and deciding that's how you do life.

And then you lived it as if it were the absolute truth.

But it's just a story.

And you have way more power over your narrative than you think.

In this episode, we explore:

• What your personal narrative actually is and where it came from
• Why do people with identical circumstances have completely different lives
• How your "I am" thesis is shaping every decision you make
• Whether the story you're telling yourself about yourself is actually true
• How to rewrite your narrative and reclaim your life

Your narrative creates your reality. So if you're ready to examine the story you've been living and decide who you actually want to be, this episode is for you.

Learn more about the Reset Session and how you can rewrite your story here.

This podcast is part of my deeper work supporting women who are capable, accomplished, and exhausted from overgiving, overcarrying, and losing themselves inside the life they’ve built.

If you’re ready to go deeper, here are a few ways to begin:

Take the Burnout Assessment
Explore my book, Claws Out: Thriving in a World That Wants You Tamed
Book a Reset Session with me and get clear on the deeper reason behind your pressure, confusion, or emotional exhaustion.

Transcript

0:02

Welcome back to Love Without Losing Yourself. A space for women who are capable, intelligent, and accomplished yet quietly exhausted from holding everything together. Here we talk about what it really takes to come back to yourself without burning your life down. So let's begin. I want to start with question. Who do you think you are? Seriously, and I don't want you to give me the label, I am a mom, I am a professional, or whatever other label you use. But who do you actually think you are? Because I think most of us have a story, a narrative, a script about who we are and what we are capable of and what we deserve. And we are running that script every single day without even knowing it. And the truth is that we didn't write that script, or at least most of us didn't write it consciously. We absorbed it from our families, from the world, from watching the people around us and deciding that's how you do life. And then we just lift it, like it was truth, like it was absolute. But it's not, it's just a story. For me, the story was I am the one who supports and justifies even when people hurt me. I am the reliable, I am the one who can count on. I don't ask for much, I manage, I handle. And from that story came everything else. How I showed up in a relationship, how I made decisions, how I accepted, what I asked for, what I didn't ask for. That story was running my entire life, and I didn't even know I had a choice about it. But here's what I am learning. You do have a choice. You have so much more power over your narrative that you think, because the narrative creates the life, not the other way around. If you believe I'm not enough, then you will move through the wall trying to prove that you are. You will make decisions from that place, you will accept things you shouldn't accept. If you believe I have to earn love, then you will spend your life earning it, performing, giving, never just being. If you believe my needs don't matter, then you won't ask for anything. You give everything. The narrative is driving everything. So the question becomes, what narrative are you running? And is it actually true? Like really think about it. Who do you think you are? What's the story you tell yourself about yourself? For a lot of women, it's something like, I am the responsible, I am the strong one, I am the one who keeps everything together. I'm not good enough. I'm too much. I'm not enough. I have to prove myself. And these narratives, they feel like truth, they feel like facts about who we are, but they are not. They are just stories we've been telling ourselves. And here's a different perspective to think about. People with the exact same circumstances can have completely different lives depending on what narrative they are running. Two women go through the same heartbreak. One believes I am unlovable and spends the next five years trying to prove she's worthy. The other believes this person wasn't right for me, and uses it as information to build a different kind of life. Same circumstance, different narratives, completely different outcomes. So the work is what's your narrative, and do you actually want to keep living it? Because you can change it, you can rewrite it, but first you have to see it. And the way to see this is to pay attention to how you move through the world. What do you believe about yourself? What are you always trying to prove? What are you avoiding? What are you accepting that you shouldn't be accepting? That's your narrative showing up. There's something called an I am thesis, and it's powerful. It's for it's the sentence that creates I am. For a long time, mine was I am the one who takes care of things, and everything flowed from that. I was doing everything, I tried to take on so much more, I convinced myself I didn't need help. I convinced myself I couldn't handle it all, but that narrative also meant I couldn't rest, I couldn't ask for support, I couldn't be vulnerable, I couldn't be fully myself because being fully myself might meant not being able to handle everything. So who do you think you are? What completes that sentence for you? I am and complete the sentence. And is that who you want to be? Is that actually true? Or is it that just another story you picked up somewhere and never questioned? Because this is what I've learned and keep learning. You can rewrite that. You can go from I am the one who has to prove my worth to I am inherently worthy. You can go from I am not enough to I am more than enough exactly as I am. You can go from I am the one who takes care of everyone to I am someone who takes care of myself with the same fierceness I take care of others. You can rewind rewrite the narrative, but you have to do it consciously. You have to decide, you have to practice it, you have to live it. So here's what I want you to do. Sit with this for a minute. Who do you think you are? What's your current narrative? And then ask yourself, where did that come from? Who taught me that story? Why am I still believing it? And then the harder question, do I want to keep believing it? Because if the answer is no, then you get to choose something different. You are the main character of your life, not a supporting character, not someone in the background managing other people's stories, the main character, and you get to decide what your story is about. Not your mom's version, not your partner's version, not the world's version, your version. What do you want to your life to be about? Who do you actually want to be? That's the narrative worth living. So here's what I want you to know. You are not stuck with the narrative you've been running. You're not trapped by the story you've been telling yourself. You have more power than you think. Right now you can decide differently. You can look at that narrative and say, that's not who I want to be anymore. And then you can write a new one. You are the main character of your life. Not someone managing everyone else's story. The main character, and you get to decide what happens next. So the question isn't who do you think you are. The question is who do you want to be? Decide this and then go be her. If you want support, unpacking the narrative you are living and rewriting it. That's what we do in a reset session. But you don't need permission to start rewriting your story. You don't need anyone's approval. You just need to decide. Thank you for being here. I will speak to you next week. Much love.